Victim of stalking shares her experience of the FOUR behaviours of stalking

“He appeared at my workplace regularly, sometimes multiple times a day… I was safe with security and cameras all over and people that knew of the situation… The times I saw him outside work were even more terrifying… It disturbed me thinking about his confidence to go an arms-length close to me… where he isn’t being monitored… [because] he CAN.”

A young woman “Amy”, not her real name, became the fixation of a man who was almost 50 years older than her after she served him while working in a customer service job in a Suffolk town centre.

For more than a year he would turn up at her place of work, just to stare at her, and he would walk in her workplace to try to have contact with her. He left cards inviting her to meet with him and confessed strong feelings for her, despite the fact that she had only interacted with him in a professional capacity.

He would actively follow her outside of her workplace, even showing up when she attempted to change her route, and turned up when she was out shopping away from work.

Once challenged about his behaviour by Amy’s colleagues, he became aggressive and wrote a letter to her manager to complain about her, following which she became fearful of his intentions and that she was at real risk of physical violence.

Amy reported his activity to police and following enquiries, he was arrested and charged with stalking three months later. Four months after he was charged, he was sentenced at a county court in Essex to four months’ imprisonment, with further restrictions not to enter the town centre where Amy worked or to contact her.

Amy’s experience demonstrates the typical FOUR behaviours of stalking, which should be recorded and reported to police before it escalates further. These are:

Fixated

Obsessed

Unwanted

Repeated

Detective Chief Inspector Brett Harris said: “Stalking is a frightening offence that can happen to anyone. It can be a former partner, boyfriend or girlfriend, an acquaintance, a work colleague, or – as was in Amy’s case - a complete stranger.

“In 2024 we had 848 victims report incidents of stalking and harassment in Suffolk, and we take each report incredibly seriously. Our priority is the safety of our communities and I want to encourage anyone who has been affected by this type of behaviour to contact police so that we can take steps to keep you safe.

“This includes Stalking Protections Orders (SPOs), which are civil orders that we can apply to the court for to help with early intervention.

“These can be used to monitor the actions of a person, impose restrictions or requirements – such as to ensure they stay aware from certain locations – and if they breach these they will be arrested. The aim is to address stalking behaviours before they escalate and to help protect victims from more serious harm.

“We understand that not everyone has the confidence to speak to police right away. There are support services, independent of the police, that can help you if you’ve been a victim of stalking. This includes the National Stalking Helpline, which is 0802 802030.

“Whatever you do, do not let stalking or harassing behaviour continue.”

Social media and the internet are also often used for stalking, and cyber stalking or online threats can be just as intimidating. If you are affected by cyber stalking, you can get more information and safety tips from Get Safe Online or please visit Support for victims and witnesses of stalking or harassment | Suffolk Constabulary

Suffolk Police and Crime Commissioner Tim Passmore said: “Stalking is a very frightening and distressing crime and I am reassured that Suffolk Constabulary takes all reports of stalking and harassment very seriously.  

“I would urge anyone suffering from persistent and unwanted attention of this kind to contact the police immediately. It’s not something that you should have to live with, and it’s important that victims know there is help available.  

“As PCC I commission services to support victims and this include victims of staking and harassment.  In partnership with my counterpart in Norfolk, we fund Norfolk and Suffolk Victim Care to offer support and advice and they are available via their website or on 0300 303 3706, alternatively contact the National Stalking Helpline.”

National Stalking Helpline online tool 'Am I Being Stalked?'